Example wording library
Short phrases you can adapt to your own circumstances. Please discuss your preferences with your maternity team.
My top 3 priorities
- “1. Please explain what is happening before doing anything.”
- “2. I would like my birth partner with me wherever possible.”
- “3. Skin to skin as soon as it is safe.”
About me and my birth partner
- “My birth partner is with me. I would like them to be included in conversations wherever possible.”
Previous birth experiences
- “I have had a previous birth experience that affects how I feel this time. I would like this to be acknowledged and for information to be explained clearly.”
Place of birth and environment
- “Where possible, I would like a calm environment with dim lighting and minimal noise.”
- “I would like to use music, breathing techniques and personal comfort items if this is suitable for the setting.”
Communication and language
- “Please explain things in plain English and include my birth partner in conversations wherever possible.”
Communication, sensory and processing preferences
- “It helps me to have information both verbally and written down. I may need extra time to process decisions.”
- “Please tell me what you are about to do before you do it.”
Pain relief and comfort
- “I would like to try breathing, movement and relaxation first where possible.”
- “I am open to discussing pain relief if I need it and would like my options explained clearly.”
Movement and positions
- “Where possible, I would like to stay mobile and use upright or forward leaning positions.”
Student involvement
- “Students: I would prefer to be asked first each time before students are involved.”
Second stage and birth
- “If everything is safe, I would prefer calm support and guidance rather than being rushed.”
- “I would like immediate skin to skin after birth where possible.”
Assisted birth preferences
- “Assisted birth: If forceps or ventouse are discussed, I would like the reason, options, risks and benefits explained clearly before a decision is made.”
Third stage and cord preferences
- “If safe and appropriate, I would like my options around cord clamping and placenta delivery explained clearly.”
If plans change
- “If plans need to change, please explain what is happening, why it is being recommended, what the options are and what happens next.”
Caesarean birth and theatre preferences
- “Caesarean birth: If a caesarean birth is needed, I would like clear updates about what is happening and, where possible, my birth partner to stay with me or our baby.”
- “Theatre: If it is safe, I would like the screen lowered at the moment of birth and the room kept calm.”
Neonatal admission or separation from baby
- “Neonatal care: If my baby needs urgent care or neonatal admission, I would like clear updates about where they are, who is with them and what is happening.”
- “If mother and baby are separated, I would like updates, photos or clear information where possible.”
After birth and feeding
- “I would like skin to skin after birth where possible and support with feeding.”
Questions for my maternity team
- “Are my preferences realistic for my circumstances and chosen place of birth?”
- “If plans change quickly, how will you explain what is happening?”